Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

This month we finally pulled ourselves together and had our first family photo shoot (with James, at least). Now, when you look through the album, I want you to be saying to yourself, "Wow. Not too shabby!" Not just because we're looking at the camera, generally smiling, and being our incredibly good-looking selves—although all that is true—but also because midway through the photo shoot James rendered me blind by stabbing a stick into my eyeball.

Of course, I finished the photo shoot because 20 cycles of America's Next Top Model have taught me that a top model always finishes a photo shoot. That, and the idea of getting everyone mucus free for another photo shoot was more painful than the searing pain in my eyeball, shooting into the back of my head. For reference, the incident occurred just before the picture on the steps with the maple leaf. In that picture, and all those that follow, tears were gushing from my just-poked eye.

One trip to Urgent Care, one course of antibiotics, one prescription for pain meds, one day of PTO, an eye patch and two days of blindness later, everything's just fine.

Clubhouse now open for business

Rodders has really outdone himself this time.  Our newly constructed playhouse is now the most solidly constructed dwelling we own.

As expected, the playhouse has been a hit with the small people in our house as well.  With only a floor and one wall built, the children were already taking orders through the window of their cafe/ice cream shop/waffle window.

I am two

In honor of James's two years on the planet, here are 24 things about him:

1. James stopped growing about six months ago, out of respect for his fellow toddlers who needed time to catch up.
2. His favorite pastime is reading and he would do very little else if given the choice. Right now we can't go a day without reading Snowy Day, Olivia, Goodnight Gorilla, Thomas and Friends, and a steady rotation of word books and books about babies.
3. When he isn't reading, James is playing "restaurant" with Ava, and saying adorable things like, "Mama, you like the pasta?"
4. James is generally an incredibly jovial kid and enjoys blowing kisses to strangers, dancing, screaming in excitement, and giggling.
5. James loves to sleep and often wakes up inconsolable from a nap.
6. James weighs 34 lbs.
7. James has been focusing a lot on colors lately. He knows the names of all the colors of the rainbow and uses them freely throughout the day, but cannot, for the life of him, assign the correct name to a color. We spend much of our day having this same conversation over and over again: "That'sa puorple!" "No, that's red." "That'sa red!"
8. James has exceptional manners and never ever misses the opportunity to say please, thank you, and you're welcome.
9. Legos are another favorite for James. He generally builds towers but has also been known to make hammers and, most recently, a digital camera.
10. Every time James hears an airplane he stops, points, screams "AIRPLANE" and makes the sound of an airplane.
11. James NEVER stops talking. At this point, James can say almost all words, uses sentences, and even recounts "interesting" things about his day. He still can't pronounce all of the letters of the alphabet, though, so it takes some concentration to keep up on his conversations.
12. Although usually happy as a clam, James has some pretty major anger management issues and isn't afraid to go all Mike Tyson on you when necessary. Ava endures the brunt of his anger because of her poor evasion tactics and her interest in stealing or protecting toys in tight quarters.
13. That being said, James and Ava could be described as best friends and they almost never play alone. 
14. On Thursdays, when Ava goes to school and James stays at home, James starts asking to pick Ava up from school at 10 am.
15. With each day, James is growing more independent. He can put his boots on by himself, zip his zippers, undress, and climb in his car seat. Getting dressed by himself is still a challenge, but he's always game to add 20 minutes to our morning routine by giving it the ole college try. As he will tell you: "I do it!"
16. James has a gloriously short bedtime routine. It takes all of two minutes from the time he gets in his pajamas to lights out. That includes brushing teeth ("I do it!"), walking around the room saying goodnight to things, tossing him in his crib, and a few rounds of "I love you", "Bye", "I love you", "Bye."
17. James loves Chex. He eats four bowls every morning.
18. James takes a baby doll with him wherever he goes.
19. If Ava's not James's best friend, then Brody is. The feeling is not mutual. That dog has put up with more than his fair share of "Gentle touches" in his time. 
20. You can say "Bath" at any point during the day and James will run to the bathtub and try to get in.
21. James asks to sit on the toilet every time he gets his diaper changed. There, we sing a song, he wipes, and flushes the paper down. What a waste.
22. If James hears any words he doesn't understand he smiles and replies, "Hola!"
23. James loves to skip, hop, gallop, and jump. All of those actions look exactly the same.
24. James has hit his head more in his first two years than Ava will in her entire lifetime. That's just a fact.

School Pictures

Had we remembered that it was picture day, we would have taken some efforts with the children's appearance--hair brushing and the like--but I think they pulled it off, just the same.

Halloween in the wild, wild West

In the past, Halloween has been a bit of a non-event for us. Ever the party poopers, we aren't usually the types to go all out for costume-required Halloween parties. Our most ambitious costumes that I can remember were a pair of die, but our perfectly flat surfaces proved quite attractive as drink coasters to inebriated party-goers, and we spent the night getting stuck in doorways with beer dripping down our costumes. In recent years we haven't dressed up at all, though we're never short on ideas or grand plans.

This year Aunt Paula and Uncle Joe flew out to Portland to go trick-or-treating with the kids. Since they were adding costumes to their checked luggage, we realized we, too, should be joining in with a little more Halloween spirit. And so we became a gang of cowboys (with James as our sheriff) and Paula and Joe dressed as convicts to complete the ensemble. Though Ava was initially going to be James's horse, she backed out of the plan when she noticed that the horses feet would surely get dirty during our outing. We tried to get James to say "Howdy partner!" or a more traditional "Trick-or-treat!" each time he approached a door, but we eventually settled for his no-nonsense "WANT IT!" every time the candy bowl came out.

 

 

 

 

 

No, You Listen to Me

James would like to read you a bedtime story.

Today in James

Overnight, it seems, James has gone from saying almost nothing, to saying almost everything. Today he's all:

"Okay! Let's go! I got my shoes on!"

Head out the do'

Our household is quite orderly and in no way would it ever take us 20 minutes to just get socks on. Everyone falls in line, as a testament to our superior parenting skills. We offer you this video as a completely representative sampling of our lives with children.

Dancing Queen Bee

It's a dance party!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was just one of those days we'd sooner forget. The kids woke up grumpy and our attempt at redeeming the day with a trip to the pumpkin patch failed because we started too late in the day. By the time we hit the patch, the kids were tired and hungry and unwilling to satisfy their snap-happy mother with even one decent look-I-found-a-pumpkin-in-this-field pose. By the end of they day, we were all unimpressed.

To remind ourselves that even our grumpy days have their moments, we're posting those moments here:

1. Ava and Brian made their first stop motion movie.

2. We were able to contain the children in a wagon so they could be photographed against their will.

3. Ava used a new word.

4. James almost used a new word.

September 2013

September 2013

With the start of the new school year, Ava added another day of preschool to her week so she now attends three days a week.  James, however, still only attends two days a week so while Ava is off palling around with her buddies and gettin' her learnin' on, James and Helen now have a day to spend together. Ava was hesitant at first, offering a tender, "But I don't want to go to school all by myself," with tear-filled eyes. We prepared for a long goodbye in the play yard and then she just ran off giggling with her friends. There was a brief adjustment period on the other end too, as it appears Ava has been doing a fair amount of co-parenting without us realizing it. During James and Helen's first day alone, James was coloring on the walls within moments of a mommy potty break. And while said mommy was cleaning the walls, James grabbed a CHEFS KNIFE from the counter (he's quite tall, if you recall) and began drumming on the kitchen surfaces. Where's Ava when you need her to scream out, "Mama, James has a chefs knife!"?

September also marks the month of our always oddly-timed annual block party. After four completely dry months, the rains came down for this year's festivities. For many, this wouldn't seem like a big deal, but our street goes all out for the block party. All told, the party spans 14 hours and includes dog races, parades, painting the street, pot lucks, alcohol, and carnival-type attractions. This year, we adapted. Bounce house? Cancelled. Dunk tank? Cancelled. Bonfire into the wee hours of the night? Cancelled. We're a resilient bunch, though, and we still managed to stretch out the festivities for 10 hours, focusing more on eating, puddle-jumping, hat-wearing, and wagon-riding than we have in the past. The kids were none the wiser so, as usual, a fun time was had by all.

First Day of School

Not exactly the photo shoot I had in mind.

Sun(lazy)river

We celebrated the end of a glorious summer as we did four years ago, with a trip to Sunriver with our friends Andy and Laurel. Over time, our hosts have seemingly forgotten what it's like to vacation with our family and, so, invited us to their vacation home once again.

After an epic drive--during which Ava asked "How much longer?" no fewer than a gazillion times--we arrived in Central Oregon. Perfectly timed with rush hour, we got there late enough that the children went right to bed, but early enough that we could still fit in plenty of drinking.

The first day was spent discovering that James has pushed past his healthy mistrust of water and is now dangerously fearless of the pool. He practiced jumping in while his parents weren't ready to catch him, charging away from his parents into the deep end of the pool, and running on slippery pool decks (there's a good reason the lifeguards tell you not to do this--James has the head injury to prove it).

On our second day there must have been something in the air...Laurel came down with a horrible migraine and the children came down with the being-horrible-little-shits.  Frightened for everyone's safety, we threw both children in a bike trailer and enjoyed Sunriver's network of bike trails. The fresh air reset their crazy, and we were able to enjoy the rest of the evening without undo harm.

Resetting their crazy

Oh, no thanks! I'm going to need something a little bit stronger.

We couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable final day. Laurel and Andy took us to one of their favorite Central Oregon spots for a morning at the the lake. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the lake was gorgeous, and Ava was kind enough to drag each of us around as we relaxed on our inner tube of choice. Order was restored in our world.

Thanks, MacSchweitzers, for another great visit! 

Ava, earning her keep

Sally and Brada

We just found this post in our drafts file from this time last year and figured it was high time we bring this one out of the vault.

Sally and Brada have been with us for going on two years now and Ava has no end of stories about them. Sally and Brada are Ava's brother and sister from another mother and another father. They have exciting adventures--a given, since they have houses all over the world. Their father works on the Hawthorne Bridge, raising and lowering it when tall ships go by. He recently transferred to the Steel Bridge for training but was soon back at his post in the house atop the Hawthorne Bridge.

What follows is a typical episode in the lives of Sally and Brada. Transcribed here, verbatim:

You wanna know what Sally and Brada LOVE to eat? Their favorite food is crabstems. 

How do you make crabstems?

You go to the beach and pick up some crabs--pretend crabs--and then bring them home. You cook the crab in the fish fry and then hold it in one hand and push the stem in.

What's a stem?

A stem is chicken on a stick. Brada makes the best crabstems but Sally doesn't cook them because she is too young. She can just help Brada because he's older. Sally gets a stool and stands on it and uses a really long spoon to help him stir.

So crabstems are pretend crabs with chicken on a stick?

Actually Brada makes his crabstems with cake.  They are WAAAY better with cake.

Goin' Nowhere Fast

Good thing we're not trying to get anywhere or anything.

August 2013

August 2013 Album

Shortly after Layne and Gary departed, we experienced the moment we've been waiting for for months...James finally stringing words together in a sentence.  He woke up one morning and said, "Ava's sleeping" and then didn't stop narrating for the rest of the day. His next phrase was "Light on!" and then "Light off!". Man were we excited. But then he just kept on saying it, and saying it, and saying it -- in a way that only a toddler can -- until we realized that he was actually asking to turn the light on and off. And for the rest of the day and EVERY DAY SINCE he has filled every moment of silence with the request to play with light switches. It's like we have our own seizure-inducing toddler-powered strobe light. Add in some house music and James's pacifiers and we'd have our very own rave!

High on the success of Ava's biking skills, we decided to join 23,000 Portlanders in the Portland City Parkways with Ava on her own bike instead of in the bike trailer. A few rainy blocks into the 9-mile route, we realized we had overestimated our daughter's cycling prowess and underestimated James's need for a friend in the trailer. With James screaming and Ava refusing to leave her bike locked up on the route, we loaded Ava into the trailer and Brian pedaled home with her bike in one hand and the two kids in tow. After drying off we lit a fire and drank some tea while watching the rains pour down. Much more our speed.

Today in Ava

On the front porch with Brian...

"Really, dude? You're really gonna drive down our street that fast?"

Tight Quarters

If you've ever wondered why parents of young children don't travel very often, this should clear things up for you.

Rabold Garden (Work) Party

Gary and Layne joined us in August for a week-long visit. Though we don't plan it this way (honestly, we don't) we, again, happened to have a rather large project on our hands while they were visiting. This time it was laying sod in our backyard and we gladly put both of our visitors to work right away either moving the sod into place or running around after our little rascals so that they didn't inadvertently "help" us lay the sod. And that was just their first day.

The rest of the trip was nice and relaxing, oh, except for that playhouse we began building in the backyard. With Rod as our contractor, Brian and Gary assisted in building the base of the structure, while Helen planted plants in the beds surrounding the new grass, and Layne took care of our mischievous duo.

Okay, then it was nice and relaxing with some walks and a visit to the park. We even got a date night--but I suppose that was only really relaxing for us. Thanks for all your help, Layne and Gary!

July 2013

We have been dreading the month of July since last year when, horrified by the sound of fireworks, Ava spent the night in our bed (not so bad) and then the next SIX MONTHS asking to sleep in our bed in case the fireworks started up again. We had completely forgotten that she misunderstood the concept last year and believed that fireworkers (firemen) were making the noise up in the sky, until she brought it up this year and we had to explain the concept all over again.  This year, we prepared Ava well in advance by watching videos of fireworks online. She was the picture of confidence until the first yahoos started setting off fireworks a week before July the 4th ("It's not EVEN July 4th!" as she pointed out).  Then it was a good three weeks of quietly cursing fireworks everywhere as our child trembled in fear, wearing a knit hat to protect her from the fireworks.

At the end of July we fit in a quick camping trip. After our last somewhat-failed attempt we decided to again only go for one night. This time there was less puking, fewer gunshots, and more sleeping. Success all around. Ava tried her first s'more, said "Mmmm...I LOVE it!", kept the whole thing (minus a nibble) in her hands for a few hours, and then asked if we had any Tupperware so she could save it for later. We dutifully placed it in a protective dish until the morning when Brian decided it was just time to eat it on her behalf.